Shadow work prompts: 40 questions for the parts you avoid

Pick one prompt, not ten. Write for five minutes without editing, then read it back and underline one sentence that surprised you. That sentence is the work.

Go gently. If a prompt opens something heavy, like trauma or grief, stop there and take it to someone you trust or to a professional. Journaling is for noticing. It is not for carrying hard things alone.

1. 1.What reaction of mine felt bigger than the moment deserved this week?
2. 2.Which trait in other people irritates me fastest? Where do I do a version of it?
3. 3.What criticism stings most, even when it’s unfair? What does it touch?
4. 4.When did I last get defensive, and what was I protecting?
5. 5.Who do I judge quietly, and what does that judgment say about what I fear in myself?
6. 6.What do I get angry about that I’ve never said out loud?
7. 7.When do I go cold or withdraw instead of saying what I feel?
8. 8.What compliment makes me uncomfortable, and why?

9. 9.Whose life do I envy, specifically? What exactly do they have?
10. 10.What do I admire in others that I’ve decided isn’t for me?
11. 11.What would I do if I weren’t worried about looking foolish?
12. 12.Which friend’s success did I struggle to feel happy about?
13. 13.What talent have I hidden because showing it felt risky?
14. 14.What do I pretend not to want?
15. 15.Who would I be jealous of if I let myself be honest?
16. 16.What part of me only comes out when no one is watching?

17. 17.What situation keeps finding me, whatever I change?
18. 18.What do I start with energy and quietly abandon?
19. 19.Which promise to myself do I break most often?
20. 20.Where do I say yes when I mean no?
21. 21.What do I do to feel in control when I’m scared?
22. 22.How do I get people to like me, and what does it cost me?
23. 23.What role do I play in groups without ever choosing it?
24. 24.What do I reach for when I don’t want to feel something?

25. 25.What was I praised for as a child? What was I punished for?
26. 26.Which feelings weren’t welcome at home?
27. 27.What did I learn I had to be in order to be loved?
28. 28.Which belief about myself sounds like someone else’s voice?
29. 29.What did I decide about the world after a hard moment early on?
30. 30.What do I still do to earn approval from someone who is no longer watching?
31. 31.Which of my rules was useful once and isn’t now?
32. 32.What part of me did I leave behind to fit in?

33. 33.What do I want that I think I’m not allowed to want?
34. 34.If nobody would judge me, what would I change this year?
35. 35.What am I afraid would happen if I got what I want?
36. 36.What anger of mine, used well, could become a boundary?
37. 37.What is my envy pointing toward?
38. 38.Which part of myself would I like to meet again?
39. 39.What would I tell the version of me who first built this pattern?
40. 40.What is one small thing I could do this week that all of me would agree with?

Shadow work that stays on the page turns into another interesting habit. After you see something, choose one small action that reflects it, today.

The 6/8 Alignment Quiz names your Shadow Pattern: the way your main strength turns against you under pressure. It is a good place to aim these prompts first.